does it really matter?

reflecting back on the post that Serena, Scott and Sheena posted, it got me thinking... does it really matter what you are and what you become one day? I remember during my time when I was studying, IT was the in thing to do. I remember all the aunties and uncles used to give me a good smile and say.."Wah!! IT, can be consultant one day.. big money!!" and I went on to be that.. an IT consultant, earning quite a fair bit up till last year when I decided to quit and pursue what I am persuing now. I thought I had my dreams planed out for me last year. I was an IT consultant, earning the big bucks and rubbing shoulders with big corporate figures, giving talks to MD and CEOs of the stat of their company's Network Security and everywhere I went, as the chinese said.. "people see me got up". But, the day I told all these people that I was resigning and moving to Australia, all of them thought, Mark is moving to greener pasture.. working overseas, doing his MBA, and honestly those were all the plans I had for myself. I guess I was sucked into the mentality of "I gain people's respect by what I do". But all that changed in a period of 3 months when God challenged me to give-up my beloved yuppie lifestyle.

When I told everyone in my work place, my clients, the MDs and CEOs I was not going to work in Australia and neither am I doing my MBA but doing one year of Bible College... they flipped... literally and comments like "Right now??!! when you have everything going for you??", "oh wow!! bible college.. you want to be a priest now??". The mentality of success by what you're doing and how much you earn I feel is cultivated by the environment we live in. I come from Malaysia, a country with stereotypical mindsets where success equals doctors, lawyers, CEOs, MDs, what car you drive, what condominium you live in. Having moved here, I realised that the majority of people here in Adelaide are happy with the single things in life. Driving an old 15 year old car vs. a BMW, staying in an average house vs. a mention, happy to be plumbers and waitresses. I remeber telling a couple of college mates of mine that I used to work as a Project Manager in my old job thinking that I might get some respect for what I've given up to come to bible college... I was so wrong. They just said, "oh okay!!" and that's it. They do not understand the corporate lifestyle, the fancy tea parties and night dinners you attend and flesh off your "pride and joy" business card. Here it's "I work as a cleaner in the food court down at the city", "I work as a milkman". Such a simple life. I remember in one of my classes, my lecturer was happy to mention that she works as a Qantas counter check-in chick. I can imagine, mention that in a Bible College in KL, and you would 3/4 of the class gone the next week because no one wants to listen to a Qantas check-in chick teach. I have concluded as I said above that how we term as success has been largely influence by the environment, the communitty that we live in. Many a times, we're dictated to do what people wants us to do rather than do what we think it's best for us. Most of the time we do accounting and law thinking that it's best for us, because the rest of the world is doing it? But the rest of the world is not. Where I am now, in my bible college, the kids here are happy not going to University and happy working as a stock keeper in Bilos and Coles supermarket.

It was a humbling experience when I came here, God showed me that I was wearing the mind set of the uncles and aunties back home, I saw a new light. But with me saying that, that doesn't mean my next job is a milk man's job. I'm saying that we should not judge a person for what they are doing but rather for who they are. I realised that I lost 3/4 of my friends in the working world it's because I had the car, the condo, the gold cards and not because of who Mark Tan was. I determined myself not to be like those idiots but alas, I fell into it myself and got hammered by God for thinking that way. If Jesus wasn't a carpenter's son, if he was a son of a very powerful tax collector, would history have been different, would there been a cross and a cruxificion? It's a sad case that people are judge for what they do and not who they are. It cost me RM2300 in flight tickets and AUD3000 in college fee to realise that I was one of those judge. I guess I can just be thankful that I don't have to grow up til the ages of those aunties and uncles and still not realise that I have a stereotypical mindset.

I've learnt a lot here in my first 6 months in Bible College, areas that God has given me new revelations on. The far best think I learn is the person I should find security in is Jesus Christ. I thought my musical talents could buy me friends here since I was easily one par above everyone else in college. It would have worked for sure if I was still in KL, but not here. Here no one bothers if you sing like a crow or your guitar playing is out of tune. Neither do they care if you play like Joe Satriani or sing like Guy Sabastian. It's about who you are.

In response to Serena's entry. I thought I lived a dream, but it was a dream constructed by the environment around me. I chose to adopt it as my dream since my first love of being a pilot was lost when I became the member of the "4 eyes" group when I was 13. But at the end of the day, I wonder, if I stayed in Adelaide for a long period, what would that "dream" have been? So, in another conclusion, we should follow the dreams that are set forth to us by God himself. You don't call God big EL for nothing. It doesn't matter what we do, it's a matter only when we're not living God's dream for us. In Romans Chapter 8 and Ephesians 1:11-12, God talks about the plan and purpose he has for us. Serena, Scott, Sheena. Whatever you all are doing, it may be looked down upon by others, but as long as you know you're living the dream God has for you. You're a S.U.C.C.E.S.S! God has promised that he will complete the will He has for us. But we must live in God's dream.