no longer in the inner circle

a friend said to me recently, "you're out of the inner circle of trust". I thought to myself, "out of the inner circle?". It has become apparent to me that you can be a part of an exclusive group of people for only such a time. There will come a time when you'll expire and loose your exclusiveness. It teaches you not to place all your eggs with one group of people. I remember writing once on, do friendship expire? I have come to a conclusion that friendship can expire. Some takes a shorter period of time to expire and some takes a longer period of time to expire. Sometimes you wonder what caused the expiry date?

I've found that life is like a baseball game, three strikes and you're out. Worse is when you didn't even when the strike hits. It's worse when you thought you've scored a homerun only to find out that in actual fact, you're out. I find myself trying to expand my network by joining other exclusive group only to realise that there was a clause in the previous group that disallow you to socialize with people from other groups and thus you're out of the "circle of trust". As an introvert, I find security in "exclusivity", it helps to know that this bunch of people are here to stay for a longer period of time and thus a longer expiry date but maybe stricter rules to adhere to. It's like the army, there are Rules of Engagement (RoE). One wrong move and you're court marshall with the punishment of permanent dismisal from the "army", but if your adhere to the RoE, the "army" is like a happy family. You fight for each other and you stand up for each other. There is a sense of security among comrades. But again, if you go against the RoE, it's fatal. So in a way, it's good, you do get security and your expiry date depends on how you play the RoE.

But sometimes I wonder, would it be better to be an extrovert and have your eggs put into different baskets. You may not find a sense of security and comradeship. But you're assured of people that you can at least have a hang with you. You're assured that you'll never be lonely in a physical sense but not in an emotional sense. Deep thoughts one can put into and wonder, why is friendship so much harder to understand that the female species or could it be the female species that have manipulated how this game of friendship is played. It is said that man are the head but the women are the neck. A conspiracy how friendships can be used as a manipulation tool to play around with one's feeling and in the end it's not you that was kicked out of the group but you kicked yourself out.

I draw this conclusion. Friendships can be played hard, friendships are sensitive, friendships don't last forever, new friendships can be made easily and can be lost easily. Friendship is something we all need as no man is an island. Friendship is like a job, play your cards right and you get the "promotion", play it wrong, hearts will be broken and hurt.

In concluding, why play this game of friendship? It's such a waste of energy. We should endevour to change friendship to relationship. Relationships last, relationships can be build strong and last forever. Relationships can't be ended by playing the wrong RoE. Relationships are made to forge closeness and uniformity. Relationships are a source of permanent refuge. Lastly, Godly relationships are made never to end, they don't expire.